Ferrets know a little bit about doors and what magic they perform.   Close your bathroom door for some privacy, and a ferret is sure to appear, scratching to get in.  Why is this?  Well, they’re just so curious they can’t stand the idea that something exciting might be happening in there, and they’re missing it.

Also, doors provide treats in many forms. A case in point would be the food gifts that come forth when humans open the refrigerator door.  In a ferret’s world, doors have possibilities, especially when they go from closed to open.

After Bun’s First Outing, he sat by the french doors out of which his adventure began, hoping he’d get to go out through them again.  That one time, boy did those doors produce great things.  Bun got to rub in some real dirt, snake through the plants, and get lots of whiffs.

So, for my ferrets at least, doors are magical, powerful, and full of possibilities, all good.  So what does it mean when ferrets leave messages on thresholds of doors?  After Bun’s Second Outing, he left a message on the threshold of the door we had gone through.  He’s done it before, after someone had left for the day.  An old ferret used to leave messages frequently, at the threshold of the main door to our apartment.  It seems to be linked to having just gone through that door…today Bun seemed to be saying, I know how you get out there, and just letting you know that I know.  And I’m jealous, so here’s a quick note to remind you that I’m jealous.

It’s true, it’s like they want the door to open again, want the magic to occur, so they communicate this with a poop message.   They are posting messages right where you’ll be sure to see them when you’re exercizing your enviable ability to move between the inside and the outside worlds.

Hippie doesn’t get out much, and to tell you the truth he’s not all that interested in venturing beyond the five walls of our half-hexagon shaped apartment.  He’s a tough old guy, and he’s seen the harsh side of life.  Having been abandoned by his previous owners and left caged in the night outside the shelter in oppressive tropical swelter, he knows the dark side of life.

Anyway, we recently took Hippie to the beach, on what was supposed to be a fun outing for all.  Bun went too, on his very first excursion outside the home.  Having become frail and balding, Pig stayed home and attended to her roach army.

Like a sour old man who’s lost joy in the newness and strangeness of life’s surprises, Hippie didn’t give one s*%t about the beach.  Bun did what all ferrets seem to do when we let them loose near water: head for the hills.  So, while one of us chased Bun the other had to hold Hippie, who would also scurry inland from the ocean, after having taken a quick whiff at the water’s edge.  He’d make it as far as the tall grasses behind the sand, then have to be hoisted up by his shoulders before he tunneled away out of site.  They both hated it.   Here’s Hippie after being scooped up just before he made it to the border (i.e. sidewalk).

Pig, Fighter Against Roaches

Pig’s specialty in life is play fighting with humans.  She’s a fierce, brave fighter who’s not afraid to stand up to humans when the situation calls for it.  Very much in touch with her wildest instincts, Pig also has a hunger for catching Palmetto Bugs.  Down here in Florida that’s what they call big, nasty creepy nocturnal roaches.

Many a night we’d lie awake listening to scuffling noises in the corner, followed by the sounds of little ferret feet tearing exitedly across the floor.  In the morning, we’d find only roach legs and a gutted roach body.  Where were the insides? We feared the answer.

Then one day a confused roach ventured out during daylight hours and we got to see Pig in action.  Yes, she would hunt the roaches, kill them, and for a gruesome finale: eat their insides which consisted mainly of cloudy white goop.

This was horrifying to us, but after some consideration we were extremely proud of our Warrior Ferret.  It was actually the most badass thing we’ve seen a ferret do, in real life.  (Check out youtube for some truly grisly badass things ferrets do…just type in “ferret eating mice” or “ferret meets red squirrel”).

Pig has learned that the sound of rolled up newspaper or a shoe hitting the ground hard means a human has discovered a roach.  When she hears that sound, she comes running from even the remotest corner of the apartment, and even if she’s deep asleep inside a drawer.  She tries to get in on the killing and steal the body out from under us.  Our battle against the palmetto bugs then takes on a secondary aspect:  keeping Pig from eating the nasty thing.  She will grab and run, though, and sometimes she will win.  That’s because she has her own personal Roach War.